Comments on: Why You Need to Knock Your Dead Husband off the Perfection Pedestal (He Ain’t No Saint)

By: Ali

Ali — Mon, 12 Oct 2020 03:36:56 +0000

Hi Beth, my husband was knocked off his pedestal a good 5 years before his death, after 34 years of marriage. We stumbled on until he died from cancer in2014. What I struggle with is not being able to publicly acknowledge that he wasn’t no saint for several years after his death. I was left with financial and legal issues that were left to me to resolve, which further left me very angry. 6 years later I’ve been able to let a lot of it go, but now perversely would like to have some good memories of the years we spent together. I feel it’s a shame that the ending left me with such a sense of disappointment in the man.

By: Kim Murray

Kim Murray — Fri, 03 Jul 2020 10:55:31 +0000

In reply to Beth. Beth, I love your friend's advice. No one is perfect...even when they're dead. Thanks so much for sharing!

By: Beth

Beth — Fri, 03 Jul 2020 06:34:38 +0000

My husband of41 years passed almost a year ago. As I was dealing with all the legal paperwork and grief last year, I had a conversation with a woman who helped me with claiming my husbands retirement benefits, she was a recent widow herself. Anyhow, she told me that when the grief felt unbearable, to focus on something that he had done that really pissed me off at that time. Daily I found myself consciously doing just that, after all I had 41 years with the man, and no, he wasn’t a Saint! I would start laughing my ass off! I mentioned this to our daughter, a grown woman, and she said mom I bet you can do alot of laughing! Laughter through tears, a wonderful thing!