Comments on: The Grueling Second Year of Grief – Realizing Secondary Losses https://widow411.com/the-grueling-second-year-of-grief-means-recognizing-secondary-losses/ On a quest to make widowhood suck a little less Fri, 20 Sep 2024 13:49:08 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.9.4 By: Kim Murray https://widow411.com/the-grueling-second-year-of-grief-means-recognizing-secondary-losses/#comment-2722 Fri, 02 Jul 2021 01:05:36 +0000 https://www.widow411.com/?p=6427#comment-2722 In reply to John Robbins.

Hi John, it’s tough when the friends disappear. Sending peace your way.

]]> By: John Robbins https://widow411.com/the-grueling-second-year-of-grief-means-recognizing-secondary-losses/#comment-2721 Thu, 01 Jul 2021 22:18:45 +0000 https://www.widow411.com/?p=6427#comment-2721 As for friends they stop being my friends as soon as she died. She always brought the booze the food when they did things I’m glad she chose not to be buried or a funeral for fake friends and a expensive box that people may never see again.

]]> By: John Robbins https://widow411.com/the-grueling-second-year-of-grief-means-recognizing-secondary-losses/#comment-2720 Thu, 01 Jul 2021 22:14:05 +0000 https://www.widow411.com/?p=6427#comment-2720 No secondary loses here. Against my wishes I had to get rid of everything That reminded me of my wife. ASAP I moved I was giving 2 months she didn’t think it was possible. I think she was worried about getting kicked out of the house more than the cancer.

]]> By: Kim Murray https://widow411.com/the-grueling-second-year-of-grief-means-recognizing-secondary-losses/#comment-2520 Sun, 06 Jun 2021 11:01:22 +0000 https://www.widow411.com/?p=6427#comment-2520 In reply to Leigh.

Hi Leigh, grief is so tricky. I think the best anyone can do is take the “I should feel” out and replace it with “I am feeling.” In other words, acknowledge whatever comes up whenever it comes up regardless of time passed ❤.

]]> By: Leigh https://widow411.com/the-grueling-second-year-of-grief-means-recognizing-secondary-losses/#comment-2519 Sun, 06 Jun 2021 10:31:21 +0000 https://www.widow411.com/?p=6427#comment-2519 Wish I had found this earlier. I’m at 18 months and truly felt like I was going insane. 2nd year is so much worse. And I always felt I should be in a better place not worse. But I would always tell myself everyone grieves differently.

]]> By: Kim Murray https://widow411.com/the-grueling-second-year-of-grief-means-recognizing-secondary-losses/#comment-1747 Thu, 01 Apr 2021 20:23:05 +0000 https://www.widow411.com/?p=6427#comment-1747 In reply to Meri Lee Testa.

Hi Meri Lee, as hard as widowhood is I’ve learned one very important lesson: you’re future is as hopeful as you want it to be 💕.

]]> By: Meri Lee Testa https://widow411.com/the-grueling-second-year-of-grief-means-recognizing-secondary-losses/#comment-1746 Thu, 01 Apr 2021 19:38:58 +0000 https://www.widow411.com/?p=6427#comment-1746 It’s 17 months out for me – in the last 3 weeks I hve experienced the secondary losses . My husband died September 27, 2019, of liver cancer – I agree – this isn’t the life I expected. I had a good marriage , a happy life !! We had future plans , when he retired but the when died with him . I just remember what a friend told me right after he died- live the life he was denied , yes but am 66 & was married for 33 years . I hve to keep going on & hope I can maybe find love again & a hopeful future

]]> By: Kim Murray https://widow411.com/the-grueling-second-year-of-grief-means-recognizing-secondary-losses/#comment-958 Sat, 28 Nov 2020 16:01:56 +0000 https://www.widow411.com/?p=6427#comment-958 In reply to Kim.

Hi Kim, I understand all of it. You don’t recognize this life and I get it. It’s not what you wanted! So please give yourself credit for surviving this new, unrecognizable, unwanted life anyway. Don’t discount the progress you make every day by continuing to take one more step forward.

]]> By: Kim https://widow411.com/the-grueling-second-year-of-grief-means-recognizing-secondary-losses/#comment-957 Sat, 28 Nov 2020 15:04:02 +0000 https://www.widow411.com/?p=6427#comment-957 I’m so glad I found this blog. I have been so confused as to why I am having more cry days than not. My husband died on August 1, 2019. I felt a shift in my grief shortly after the anniversary of his death. It is hard to explain my hurt. It’s not like the early months after his death but it is somehow just as devastating. Secondary loss of my job after 19 years compounds feelings that I have lost everything. I know I can love again and rebuild a new life but I don’t want to. It’s just hard living a life I don’t even recognize. To have to start over at 47 years old makes me angry. I had happiness and a loving marriage. I’m not giving up but I also feel like I’ve had just enough time.

]]> By: Jeanne https://widow411.com/the-grueling-second-year-of-grief-means-recognizing-secondary-losses/#comment-878 Fri, 30 Oct 2020 06:53:20 +0000 https://www.widow411.com/?p=6427#comment-878 1 and 1/2 years, and here I sit. I have some fair days but guess I still have a way to go,
No family talking to me since he died. I know it is because I didn;t go 70 miles to be at the hospital, nut I have horrible panic attacks when I go far, and he knew he would have to just leave the hospital so we could be together before he passed. But family see me as a terrible wife, we never told them about my panic,
It was a result of a bad, bad life of abuse before I left my family . I wish I was different.
Wish I could talk to hubby about it again, But we were together 44 years, so I think he got used to it and was happy. It wasn;t for 44 years of panic and lots of years were very loving and happy.
I just wish I could hear him say he loved me no matter what ,,,just one more time. .
SO lonely still , sigh..
Just needed to let it out , and maybe see if I will ever be ok with life again 🙁

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