Widowhood Lessons From the Movie Wicked
What could a movie about witches possibly teach us about widowhood?
Turns out, Wicked isn’t just a magical prequel to The Wizard of Oz—it’s a story packed with lessons about resilience, growth, and transformation. Widow lessons from Wicked abound and I’m here to show you how Wicked speaks to the widow experience in ways you might not expect.
I’ve seen the broadway musical version of Wicked twice and it wasn’t until I watched the movie version that I distinctly saw the parallels between the struggles of its main character, Elphaba, and the challenges widows face in navigating life after loss.
Widowhood, like Elphaba’s journey, is messy, complicated, and full of moments that challenge you to grow in ways you never expected. It’s one of the most profound widowhood lessons from Wicked—growth often comes from the hardest circumstances.
Let’s dive into five powerful widowhood lessons from Wicked and how its themes resonate deeply with the experience of grief, healing, and rediscovery.
1. Embracing Change and Growth: Widowhood Lessons from the Movie Wicked
In Wicked, Elphaba (the “Wicked Witch of the West”) undergoes a profound transformation as she steps into her true self, even at the cost of being misunderstood. She learns to live authentically in a world that doesn’t fully accept or understand her. That hit home for me because widowhood forces you to adapt to a life you didn’t choose and become someone you’re still getting to know.
Widowhood changes you, whether you’re ready or not. It brings unexpected challenges, uncomfortable emotions, and a sense of isolation when others don’t understand what you’re going through.
Like Elphaba, you might feel like the world sees you differently now—but that doesn’t mean you can’t find your footing and live authentically in whatever way that means for you. You can rediscover who you are, even in the face of your devastating loss, and learn to embrace the person you’re becoming, step by step.
In the song “Defying Gravity,” Elphaba sings, “Something has changed within me, something is not the same. I’m through with playing by the rules of someone else’s game.”
These words feel like the anthem of grief!
You’re not the same person you were before your loss, and that’s okay. Grief changes you, but it also offers an opportunity to redefine who you are and what matters to you. Like Elphaba, you can “defy gravity” by letting go of expectations—your own and others’—and find the courage to embrace who you are now, even when it’s really freaking hard.
Growth doesn’t have to be dramatic or conventional. It could mean chasing a dream, like starting a new business or traveling solo, or it could simply mean giving yourself permission to rest without guilt.
Whatever it looks like, it’s about doing what feels right for you, on your own terms.
2. Wicked and Widowhood: The Power of Connection
The deep friendship between Elphaba and Glinda reminds us how important connection is during hard times. Widowhood can feel isolating, but leaning into relationships—old or new—can be a lifeline
In the song “For Good,” Elphaba and Glinda sing “Because I knew you, I have been changed for good.”
This lyric reminds us that whether it’s the love you shared with your spouse or the support of a friend who “gets it,” these connections change us in ways we carry forward.
Finding community through grief support groups, reaching out to old friends, or making new connections with people who understand your journey can help you feel less alone.
3. Widow Self-Discovery and Owning Your Story
Elphaba faces judgment and misunderstanding but ultimately learns to own her story and her identity.
Sound familiar?
It’s a perfect example of how widowhood lessons from Wicked resonate so deeply. Widowhood comes with its fair share of unsolicited advice and opinions, but your grief and widowhood path is yours alone.
When Elphaba sings, “No good deed goes unpunished. All helpful urges should be circumvented” in the song “No Good Deed,” we feel her frustration of being judged, even when she’s trying her best.
This one made me laugh, because it’s so true!
Whether it’s how you grieve or the choices you make moving forward, you don’t owe anyone an explanation.
Own your story, it’s yours to tell. Reclaiming your voice can be a powerful act of healing.
4. How Wicked Relates to Personal Transformation or Finding Purpose in Adversity
Elphaba doesn’t let her struggles define her – she finds purpose in them. That’s a lesson we can all take to heart.
Widowhood may not be the life you planned, but it can also open the door to discovering a new direction or purpose in life.
In the song “The Wizard and I,” Elphaba sings, “And I’ll stand there with the wizard, feeling things I’ve never felt before.”
Widows could replace “the wizard” with pretty much anything else that represents facing life’s uncertainties. While it may feel unfair to face this loss, finding purpose doesn’t mean justifying the pain—it means using your experiences to shape the next chapter of your life.
Lots of widows deal with their grief by advocating for others, helping people, or pursuing dreams they put on hold.
Finding purpose in adversity can be as simple as rediscovering what brings you joy in daily life or as profound as starting a foundation in your spouse’s memory. Do whatever honors your past while shaping a future that feels true to you.
5. Wicked Movie Themes and Widowhood: Accepting What Cannot Be Changed
In Wicked, Elphaba and Glinda both learn that not everything can be fixed, and sometimes the best we can do is make peace with what is.
Widowhood requires a similar acceptance—grief evolves, but the loss remains.
In the song, “What is This Feeling,” both Glinda and Elphaba sing about their mutual disklike. Specifically, they sing about their “Loathing, unadulterated loathing.”
This metaphor perfectly describes the intense and uncomfortable emotions that come with grief and widowhood. It might seem counterintuitive to compare widowhood to the song’s over-the-top drama between Elphaba and Glinda, but it makes a brilliant point about acknowledging and sitting with difficult feelings instead of pushing them away.
In widowhood, there’s often a flood of intense emotions—anger, bitterness, even “loathing” of your new reality. You might loathe the unfairness of your loss, the loneliness, or the life you didn’t choose. And that’s okay. Elphaba and Glinda’s exaggerated loathing eventually softens into understanding, acceptance, and even connection.
And honestly, isn’t that how life tends to work out?
We start with raw, messy emotions, but over time, as we sit with them and let them evolve, they lose their sharp edges. We don’t forget or erase the pain, but we learn to live alongside it and find a way to carry our loved one’s memory forward.
Widow Wrap Up: Wicked and Widowhood
Wicked shows us that life’s struggles, losses, and transformations are an inevitable part of being human. Its themes of resilience, self-discovery, and connection remind widows that grief doesn’t have to define them—you get to write it into your new story however you see fit.
As widows, we know all about painful growth, learning to live without someone we love, and finding a new normal. Grief, like Elphaba’s journey, is a transformative process. The movie Wicked isn’t just entertainment—it’s a mirror that reflects the strength and grace we carry through it all. Widowhood lessons from Wicked remind us that while loss changes us, it also opens the door to rediscovering our strength and rewriting our story.
Whether you’re navigating profound loss or simply trying to find your footing in a new chapter, let Elphaba’s resilience inspire you to embrace change, connect with others, and live authentically.
Widowhood may not have been the path you chose, but it’s a path you can walk with purpose, courage, and hope for brighter days ahead.
